We've Blogcome Mango

Hello there boys, girls, men, women, giraffes, elephants, cats, winners, bus boys, firmly closeted gay men masquerading as lady lovers, archetypal lesbians, teachers who can't spell, teachers who can spell but aren't fulfilled in their career choice, carpet fitters, cash cows, trojan horses and synthesizers! Marianne here with a wee update on where We've Become Mango are at...

We recently carried out a poll on a selection of 85 imaginary people. As you can see from the graph below, all of those people agreed that We've Become Mango were the best mango-related comedy group they'd ever heard of. 

But they were also disappointed to find out that we have literally NO mango-based sketches in our repertoire. 

However, we do have big plans. In the next few days you'll be able to watch a wee sketch that we filmed a little while ago. That is, if James and Richard can stop masturbating for more than 17 seconds to get it sorted out. Those guys just LOVE to ejaculate. Being in this group is a real hotbed of debasement. I often ask myself what I'm actually doing with my life? Am I proud of my achievements? Do I really want to be a writer/comedian/actress/failure? Do I love James in a physical sense? Is Richard really my son? Can I italicise any more than I already have done?

The answers to all of these questions will be revealed as we play...'I'm giving you a clue to the name of one of our sketches'. *play dramatic music*

Anyway, for reals, we appreciate the support we've had so far; I'm sure you will be rewarded in the next life...right now we can't afford rewards. Which brings me nicely to my final point, as though I'd actually thought this entire thing out and hadn't just started wildly rambling about my own failings in life...ANYWAY! We would really like it if you could pass our name around your friendship groups and your knitting circles and your AA meetings and your sporting goods stores so that people actually know who we are. That way, we WILL be able to afford rewards and we can give them to you for supporting the shit out of us like a decent pair of nylons. 

Thanks for your time, folks; let's drive the oppressors down!

Lots of Love from

The Girl One xxx

Testes, testes, is this thing on?

Hello and welcome the the all new We've Become Mango blog! Herein we shall update you, the general public, hereby known as "you", on our latest adventures through this endless task we call life, hereby known as "life".

This week, we've been really busy trying to improve public awareness of our cause. If you've never heard of us, we're a charity specifically geared to help disadvantaged mangoes. A lot of people don't realise that there are literally thousands of mangoes being mistreated throughout the world, many of whom won't live past the point of ripeness. It's a real problem, but we're really trying our best to put an end to this needless violence.

We really need your help to spread the message. If you know or are a mango who is being mistreated, please don't suffer in silence. We're here to lick you better and show you there's more to life than getting the rind punched off you.

So support We've Become Mango in any way you can. Preferable with monetary gifts. Large ones. Because it will really make a difference to the lives of the mangoes we all know and love.

For more information follow us on Twitter @wevebecomemango or like us on Facebook for constant updates about our meaningless plight. Your support means the mango to us.

Lots of love,

WBM xxx