Equal Marriage for Gingers

The House of Commons will tomorrow vote on a bill to legalise marriage between people with ginger hair. Opposition to the bill has been fierce over the past few months with many claiming that marriage should be a sacred bond between people of blonde, brunette, black and grey hair.

The Right Reverend Bishop of Holiness yesterday said “We at the Church of Pope and Such will not be forced by the government to conduct ginger marriages even though that's probably not what the bill says, I wouldn't know – I haven't read it. Our views are more important than the rights of ginger people and must be adopted by everyone in the country. We also hate the Jews again.”

Bobby MacCelticheritage of the ginger rights charity Red Brick Wall has welcomed the bill stating “Since ginger hair was legalised in 1967 and gingers were no longer forced to dye, our society has moved closer to equality year on year. This is the final step in making us truly equal citizens.”

Gingers have been allowed civil partnerships for 5 years now and ginger adoption is now commonplace. The numbers of parents giving up their children after discovering they were ginger is down with the subsequent divorce rate on discovering their spouse had been dying their hair also at an all time low.

If the bill is passed the UK will become the 22^nd country to legalise ginger marriage ahead of many US states who probably did it at one point but then caved in again under the mighty power of Jesus, who sadly passed away almost 2000 years ago.

Tomorrow will see what is predicted to be one of the largest ginger pride parades the country has seen take place in London in support of the vote. However there are fears it may be cancelled after weather forecasters predict a cloudless day with temperatures in the early 20s. “We don't want our skin to end up redder than our hair” Bobby stated.